Poetry

Bear Safety

CLAIRE CALDWELL

From Invasive Species. Published by Buckrider Books in 2014.

BEARS COULD BE ANYWHERE

On the subway at rush hour. 

Between couch cushions. 

In the drawer with dull pencils 

and batteries and nothing 

you need. In the eavestrough. 

On a soccer field 

during a lightning storm. 

In the pocket of your dirty jeans, 

your unlaced sneakers. 

Run a hand under the sheets 

before bedtime. Bears prefer to sleep 

on Egyptian cotton. 

They can usually tell if it’s cheap.

BEARS STARTLE EASILY

In conditions of hampered visibility, 

braid willow in your hair. 

Floss with alder. Line your eyelids 

with nightshade. Sing jazz standards 

in the key of C or D-flat major. 

If you must tell a bear 

about your hysterectomy, 

your son’s defection from the military 

academy, speak quietly 

but with conviction. 

Never let them smell your Ativan.

KEEP YOUR CAMPSITE CLEAN

Bundles of unattended clothing

invite curious bears.

The wilderness is not a thrift store

parking lot. A grizzly in floral skirts

and pearls is not just “going through a phase.”

Individuals are often spotted near high school

proms and costume departments.

Their fur may start to thin.

They may become dependent on polyester.

Eventually, such bears must be destroyed.  

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