Dear Geist,
Why did my writing coach mark this passage to be re-written? “How am I going to get this thing working, I thought to myself.” At first I figured the period at the end should have been a question mark, but that wasn't it. Help!
—Joyce, Prince Rupert
Dear Joyce,
The only change we would suggest in that sentence is to omit “to myself,” so that it reads “How am I going to get this thing working, I thought.” If you're thinking, by definition you're thinking to yourself and only to yourself. So “to myself” is redundant, and it could be confusing for a reader.
—The Editors