Dear Geist,

Do you have any advice on writing sex scenes? This is assuming that they're necessary to the story and they further the plot. I could gloss over them in a “fade to black” kind of way, but that feels like a cop-out—if two characters arrive at the zoo, and in the next scene they are leaving the zoo saying, “Boy, I sure had fun at the zoo,” that would seem ridiculous. With that being said, the idea of my family, friends and colleagues reading an extremely detailed erotic scene I've written is beyond embarrassing, and probably unnecessary. Is there a good way to do this in straightforward, plain-talking narrative? Any do’s and don’ts?

Dear Roswell,

Right you are—like any scene, a sex scene has to help drive the story, revealing information about character and pushing the plot along. It can’t just hang around as a receptacle for exposition or backstory, or be thrown in for effect. A scene also needs to feel inevitable, so set up the erotic tension well ahead—with content, not just hot-for-each-other. Then, when it (ahem) comes, a strong sex scene organically shows the characters in their most private, vulnerable moments—a natural setting for complications, revelations, resolutions, etc., to arise.

Some tips: Write the scene from your heart, and don’t turn down the heat to avoid offending anyone—someone will be offended no matter what. Keep the characters’ talk and action consistent with who they are, and don’t shift the point of view unless you’re doing it all through the story. Include lots of sensory detail, leaving out the filters (“I saw,” “she felt,” etc.). The best scenes are vivid but not lurid, and free of cliché. Rather than reporting every single word, sigh, move and sensation, leave some for the reader to fill in. Use your imagination, but if you’re writing about “specialty” sex, know your ground. As with real lovemaking, take your time and let the emotional suspense build to the clinch. And if you’re including more than one sex scene, make sure they’re all a bit different.

Meanwhile, read as many sex scenes as you can, and note what makes them great—timing, sensory details, dialogue, etc.—or not. Primary fieldwork is optional.