Don Martin Department

Literary sounds from The Don Martin Dictionary. Don Martin drew cartoons for Mad magazine from 1956 to 1987. The Completely Mad Don Martin, a two-volume hardcover box set of his work for Mad magazine, was published by Warner Books in 2007.

Removal of a deep rooted tooth

AAAAGH! EEEEEOOOW ACK! ugh ugh mmp agh! aeek

Iron man sneezing inside his iron mask

AHH- AHH- AHH . . . THOONOONN

Tarzan fighting with leopard

ARRARGH YAK FITZROWER RIP

Boxer pummeling head of opponent

BUKKIDA BUKKIDA BAKKIDA BAKKIDA BUKKIDA BUKKIDA BAKKIDA BAKKIDA

Man’s eyes being poked like a cash register’s keys and jaw popping open like a till drawer

CHK CHK CHA-GONK BRBBRBBRING!

Hungry stomach churning

FITZ ROWR

Woman folding up man

FLAK FLOK SWIT GLAP

Vending machine putting check marks onto luggage

FLUK GROON GROON GROON GROON SPLAZITCH SPLAZAATCH

Man sweeping deserted island

FWISK FWISK FWISKITTY FWASK

Domestic mayhem and carnage involving a small child, his mother, a dog and a police officer GLISH GLUTCH YAK AWK GAROOF WEEOOOEEEOOO BLOOMBLOOM YAGGAK WHAP ROWR GROWR GURGLE GLUKWoman reeling a tire out of husband’s throat using fishing pole GLOOKMan dunked into a cake baking machineand popping out as a baked cake

KACHUNK-KACHUNKA KACHUNK-KACHUNK KA-BONG

Hippie hitting head on stove

KLANG

Butler falling from ceiling

KLOMP

Heart bouncing on floor

SHKLOP

Folding up flattened man

SUT FLUT FLIT FLOT

Hippie lighting match on crusty jeans

THIKOOSH

Tongue being pulled from boss’s head and chopped off using his teeth,then single hair stretched fromsame head and clipped off WHIRR! SNIP WHIRR! SNAP!Sleeping fellow having a fish tossed down his throat ZZZZ ZZZZ ZZZZ ZGLUK

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