These limericks were written at The Great Canadian Limerick Caper at Word on the Street, 2008. Participants used place names from Geist Maps of Canada for inspiration. The event was hosted by Ross Merriam, the publisher of Narwhal Magazine and a friend of Geist.

Shopping in Kits

Well, I thought I’d go shopping in Kits

For some comfy wintery mitts

I looked far and wide

Around from side to side

But I found only Lulu chicks

—Robin Ryan

A Kerrisdale Party

At a party I had to attend

 “To Kerrisdale I’ve moved,” said my friend.

I asked her why, (and)

she said with a sigh,

 “No hipsters with which to contend.”

—Mary Leighton

A Boy From Vancouver

There once was a boy from Vancouver

He thought himself quite the schmoozer

With hair slicked with oil

He’d visit the Royal

Where all he would do is hunt cougars

—Matthew Gruman

A Swell Garden on Mayne

There was a swell garden on Mayne

That was matured in sunshine and rain

But some deer on the roam

Jumped the fence round my home

Hard to garden and still remain sane

—Libbie

A Boy Named Noam

There once was a boy named Noam

Who went to jail for a poem

He loved it so true

Stuck to him like glue

And instead it really hut no one.

—Noam (4 years old)

A Young Woman From Bowen

There was a young woman from Bowen

Who decided to write a Zen Koan

She tried and she tried

Till she damn nearly died

And ended up writing a poem

—Kami Kane Tsuka

A Boat Held Fast in Garnish

His boat was held fast in Garnish

He turned and it sunk with a flourish

No one saw it sink

But he downed his drink

Because it wasn’t his to begin with

—Travis Dudfield

A Desperate Nun From Plum Coulee

A desperate nun from Plum Coulee

Was sure that her habit was “drooly”

When asked where she ate,

She replied “It was late, 

And the waiter—well, he was ghouly!”

—D. Burger

A Man From Vancouver

There was a man from Vancouver,

. . . was trying to turn a new leaf over.

He tripped and he fell

thought he’d gone straight to hell

 “Oh damn, this life’s like a hoover.”

—Siobhán Humston

A Dog Chased a Cat

A dog chased a cat a lot,

Until the day that he was caught,

He was collared, 

And he hollered,

But the cat wished he was shot!

—Corey

A Girl From Calgary

There once was a girl from Calgary

Whose armpits were very hairy

It made men afraid

The hair she did braid

And got married in Glengarry

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—Cathy Clarke

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