Previously published in Poetry Is Dead, Issue #1

Dear Sasquatch

Stop avoiding me

I know

 you know

 I know

‍

 you’re out there

‍

You know

 I know

 you know that

‍

Sasquatch

‍

Since you’ve been gone

 My houseplants have been giving me the silent treatment

 & my heartstrings all have fallen out of tune

‍

Since you’ve been gone

 The posture of my penis is just one more economic indicator

 with which to measure the health of the nation

‍

Shit! since you’ve been gone

 White people are getting whiter

 My balls are getting bluer

 & the 2010 Olympics are murdering your good name

‍

They’ve cutified you

 into Quatchi

 Teletubby of the British Columbian forest

 who wears ear muffs

 falls over easily

 & squeaks “Shop with Quatchi”

‍

But contempt is too easy

‍

I know

 you know

 I’ve sensed you

 out there

 Standing in line at London Drugs

 trying to buy a crimper and some scrunchies

 while everyone looks the other way

 except for the cashier

 who looks straight through you

‍

Sweet, noble Sasquatch

 Contempt is too easy

 Come back to me!

 I won’t apologize for the time I called your sister abominable

‍

But each night

 I will phone Grouse mountain

 asking them to blink out a morse code I Miss You

 with their ski hill flood lights

 Start a forest fire near Whistler if you feel the same

‍

I have biked down countless alleyways

 trying to read the calligraphy in the concrete

 for directions to your church of the invisible

‍

Bring me your shabby bible

 with its tissue-thin pages

 I will build us a home

‍

I worry though

 I worry that you’re right here

 & I’m just not looking

 quietly enough to see you

‍

I’m like the backseat brat on a cross-country drive

 constantly asking

 “Are we there Yeti? Are we there Yeti?”

 without ever looking out the window

‍

Dear Sasquatch

‍

I have no address for you

 So I’m reading this open letter at open mics

 I know it will reach you

 eventually

‍

You’re the kind of creature

 who comes to events

 like these

 & sits in the corner writing confessional poetry

‍

Sasquatch

‍

If you’re here

 Please

 stand up

‍

& tell us

 your story

Chris Gilpin Performs Dear Sasquatch Live:

Chris Gilpin has been a two-time mem­ber of the Vancouver Poetry Slam Team (2008 & 2009), the runner-up in the 2008 Vancouver Individual Poetry Slam com­pe­ti­tion, the cham­pion of Vancouver’s 2008 Haiku Death Match, and win­ner of the Vancouver’s 2009 CBC Poetry Face-off.

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