Good morning, I have a package to mail home to Canada. Certainly. Could I have your customs forms please? I have no customs forms. Where do I get customs forms? You can get them here. Excellent. But only when the customs agent is here to inspect the package. When is the customs agent here? Later today, between ten and twelve. Ah. Gracias.
No, por nada.Good morning, I have a package to mail home to Canada. Certainly. Could I have your customs forms please? I don’t have my customs forms yet. I am here between ten and twelve to get them. You are in the wrong line for customs forms. Where do I get customs forms? You must go and knock on that door. The door with no label? Sí.
Gracias.
No, por nada.

Good morning, I have a package to mail home to Canada.

Have a seat.

Thank you.

Cigarette?

No thank you.

So, you say you have a package to mail to Canada.

Si, señor.

What is in the package?

Presents. A ceramic penguin, a pair of earrings, some seashells—

Okay, okay, fill in this customs form here.

Excuse me, but I don’t understand all of the instructions on this form.

Look here, the instructions are in English too.

That’s not English.

It’s not English?

No, it’s French.

Never mind. Fill in this form instead. And sign it here. And this one too, here. Now you can go back to the post office.

Gracias.

No, por nada.

Good afternoon, I have a package to mail home to Canada.

I’m sorry, you cannot mail this box to Canada.

But look, I have my customs forms.

Fine. But you cannot mail this box because it has writing on it.

Well yes, it came from the grocery store.

I’m sorry, but you cannot mail any box with writing on it.

I see. Perhaps you have a marker with which I can cross out the writing?

No, we have no markers here.

Perhaps you have some packing tape we can put over the writing?

No, we have no packing tape here.

How about some of that special blue-and-yellow postal service tape I see there?

No, no señorita, you cannot put special blue-and-yellow postal service tape just anywhere.

Then what must I do?

You must cover this box with special brown mailing paper.

Do you have any special brown mailing paper?

No, we have no special brown mailing paper here. You must go down the street to the paper store. But hurry, because we are almost closing.

Okay, I will return tomorrow with this box, wrapped in special brown mailing paper.

Señorita, if you take this box away, you will have to bring it back for another customs inspection. And the customs agent will not be here tomorrow.

Oh.

If you wish, you may leave your box and customs forms here and return tomorrow with the special brown mailing paper.

Perfect. Gracias.

No, por nada.

Good morning, I am here with special brown mailing paper to wrap up my package to send home to Canada.

Your . . . ?

My package. That one over there under the counter. And could I borrow some scissors please?

Package? Scissors?

Scissors, yes, to cut the special brown mailing paper I have brought to wrap up my package to send home to Canada, the package that I left here yesterday while I went to the paper store so that I wouldn’t have to return to the customs inspector who is not here today—

Okay, it’s okay, here is your package. Here are some scissors.

Gracias.

No, por nada.

Good afternoon, I have this package, wrapped in special brown mailing paper, complete with customs forms, to send home to Canada please.

Certainly. We will stamp these forms and stick them on with special blue-and- yellow postal service tape, and your package is all ready. Anything else?

Yes please, six of those special postal service cards for my friends who collect postal stationery.

Here you are, with a special blue-and- yellow postal service envelope to put them in.

Thank you. And I need stamps to mail this envelope to Canada please.

You cannot mail that envelope to Canada.

Why not, does it need customs forms?

No, but it is a special blue-and-yellow postal service envelope for national mail only. You may not mail it out of the country.

Oh. Do you have a regular envelope in which I could mail these cards to Canada?

No, we have no regular envelopes here. You must go down to the street to the paper store to buy a regular envelope. But hurry, because we are almost closing . . .