From Elevator Stuck?, a sign in an elevator at St. Paul’s Hospital in Vancouver. The statements are numbered approximately according to the system devised by Ludwig Wittgenstein for his Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus, a book comprised of numbered declarative statements intended to describe the relationship between language and reality.

1. Don’t panic.

1.1 You will be fine.

2. There is ample ventilation.

2.1 The elevator will not fall.

3. In the event of power failure, emergency power generators will restore power.

4. HAVE YOU TRIED PRESSING THE ‘OPEN DOORS’ BUTTON?

4.1 If this doesn’t work, press the emergency call button and await a response from switchboard.

4.2 Advise:

4.21 Which elevator are you trapped in? (see ID Plate next to emergency call button)

4.22 and the floor you are stuck on or between;

4.23 of the number of people in the elevator;

4.24 whether urgent medical attention may be required for any occupant.

5. If urgent medical attention is requested a medical professional will contact you a.s.a.p. to offer and to determine whether the fire department should be called to effect immediate rescue.

5.1 The switchboard operator will immediately contact the elevator service person.

5.2 Advise whom the operator should call on behalf of those in the elevator to advise of their delay.

5.3 You will be advised of the estimated time of arrival of the elevator service person.

6. You may call the operator at any time by pressing the emergency call button.

6.1 Of course we apologize for any inconvenience.