Previously published in Poetry Is Dead, Issue #1

Dear Sasquatch

Stop avoiding me

I know
you know
I know
you’re out there
You know
I know
you know that
Sasquatch
Since you’ve been gone
My houseplants have been giving me the silent treatment
& my heartstrings all have fallen out of tune
Since you’ve been gone
The posture of my penis is just one more economic indicator
with which to measure the health of the nation
Shit! since you’ve been gone
White people are getting whiter
My balls are getting bluer
& the 21 Olympics are murdering your good name
They’ve cutified you
into Quatchi
Teletubby of the British Columbian forest
who wears ear muffs
falls over easily
& squeaks “Shop with Quatchi”
But contempt is too easy
I know
you know
I’ve sensed you
out there
Standing in line at London Drugs
trying to buy a crimper and some scrunchies
while everyone looks the other way
except for the cashier
who looks straight through you
Sweet, noble Sasquatch
Contempt is too easy
Come back to me!
I won’t apologize for the time I called your sister abominable
But each night
I will phone Grouse mountain
asking them to blink out a morse code I Miss You
with their ski hill flood lights
Start a forest fire near Whistler if you feel the same
I have biked down countless alleyways
trying to read the calligraphy in the concrete
for directions to your church of the invisible
Bring me your shabby bible
with its tissue-thin pages
I will build us a home
I worry though
I worry that you’re right here
& I’m just not looking
quietly enough to see you
I’m like the backseat brat on a cross-country drive
constantly asking
“Are we there Yeti? Are we there Yeti?”
without ever looking out the window
Dear Sasquatch
I have no address for you
So I’m reading this open letter at open mics
I know it will reach you
eventually
You’re the kind of creature
who comes to events
like these
& sits in the corner writing confessional poetry
Sasquatch
If you’re here
Please
stand up
& tell us
your story

Chris Gilpin Performs Dear Sasquatch Live:

Chris Gilpin has been a two-time mem