Dear Geist,
In the world of lettuce packaging, what's the difference between “washed” and “pre-washed”? “Pre-washed” suggests that the lettuce has been washed before something else, but what? Growing to maturity? Placed in plastic bags? Post-washed? And “washed” implies that the lettuce is truly clean, not just, you know, pre-washed before the real washing. I know this question is about ad/promo writing, not real writing, but . . . any insights

Dear Lettuce Eaters,
We too are stumped! But on it goes, so it must be effective. We invite readers of Advice for the Lit-Lorn to add their two cents. And by the way, ad/promo writing is absolutely real writing. In fact it could be argued that all writing is ad/promo writing.
—The Editors